Trying Not To Love You
by isabella2004
Summary: In caring for her terminally ill sister, Laura Wilson is close to losing the last person in the world she loves and can call family. After his divorce, Dylan Keogh decided he didn't need love or family but finds himself drawn to the two sisters. In becoming Laura's friend, he seeks to help her come to terms with the inevitable, but finds the unexpected can be far more painful.
1. Chapter 1

Author Note:

I love Casualty, especially Dylan, and I thought that he could use a little potential romance in his life, mixed in with a good dose of healthy Holby melodrama, of course! I'm going to start with a flash forward scene setter and then work towards that in later chapters.

I don't own any of the Casualty characters, I just like to play with them! All original characters are my own.

Hope you'll read and review!

 **Prologue**

 **18** **th** **July 2015**

They had certainly picked a great day for it, Laura Wilson thought as the bus slowly pulled out of the community centre car park and headed out onto the main road. The temperature had been in the high teens by seven thirty that morning and had continued to climb to the point where it was now twenty five degrees at least, more inside the bus. Glancing up, she saw that all the upper windows had been cranked open and the air conditioning was on full blast at the front but it was still warm enough for beads of sweat to start forming on her brow.

Looking across the aisle, she couldn't help wondering how Emily wasn't slowly self combusting, given that she was wearing a jumper, jacket and had a scarf wound around her neck. If she was in discomfort, her sister gave no sign of showing it. She was smiling as she talked to the boy sat next to her and, just for a moment, Laura was able to forget Emily's condition and see her as a normal seventeen year old being flattered by the attentions of the opposite sex. As if sensing she was being thought about, Emily's gaze left her companion and rested on her older sister. Laura inclined her head and raised her eyebrows in a gesture of concern, but Emily merely smiled and turned back to the object of her attention.

Satisfied that all was well, Laura sat back and tried to relax. They were moving more quickly now, having passed through the traffic in the centre of town and were headed towards the motorway that would take them to the park. It had taken a lot for her to agree that Emily should go on this trip, not least of all Emily's own pleas on the subject. Given how ill her sister had been recently, Laura's instinct was to keep her at home, cocooned in a blanket of safety, untouched by the outside world. But Emily had insisted that she wanted to go, that she was looking forward to getting out and forgetting about her illness for a day. And then, of course, Dylan had weighed in and given her that look that indicated he thought she was completely overreacting to the situation and told her, rather bluntly, that her sister was dying anyway and that spending the day at a safari park wasn't going to kill her any quicker.

She smiled as she thought back on the conversation. Trust Dylan to put it in the most obvious terms. Three months ago she might have been offended at his words, now she just found them amusing and comforting as though they gave her permission to see some humour in the grim reality of her situation. She found him amusing too, in a way that she could imagine others wouldn't, and though she had done her best to ignore Emily's teasing on the subject, she had to admit that a part of her _did_ find him attractive. It had been that part of her that had responded the other night when it happened and it was only a shame that he had found himself so embarrassed and awkward afterwards. It had only been a kiss after all...

"So, how's dishy Doctor Dylan? And don't tell me you're not thinking about him. You've got that silly little smile on your face."

Not having realised she had even closed her eyes in the first place, Laura opened them to see her friend Danielle Hughes looking at her over the headrest of the seat in front, a mischievous look on her face. "He's fine as far as I know."

"As far as you know? And there was me thinking this was going to be Holby's next big romance."

"I doubt that," Laura turned her head as Emily suddenly started coughing. "We're just friends."

"If you say so. He's a pretty good friend though if that's all it is," Danielle persisted.

"Yes, he is. Anyway, you should have your seatbelt on. We're supposed to be setting a good example to these young people...Ems, are you all right?" Her sister nodded, but continued to cough and the boy next to her turned to Laura with concerned eyes. "Does your chest hurt?" Emily shook her head, but sisterly instinct told Laura she was lying. "Ems..." she unbuckled her seatbelt and stood up as Emily stopped coughing and started to hyperventilate. Pulling her phone from her pocket, she dialled Dylan's number. "Danielle, can you get them to stop the bus?" His phone rang out three, four, five times and then clicked onto voicemail. "Dylan, it's me. Can you call me? Emily's not well and I don't think we should carry on to the park. Ring me back. Bye."

Danielle traversed her way back up the aisle and stopped beside her. "The driver says he'll pull up on the hard shoulder just before the next junction. Is she all right?"

"I don't know," Laura replied, trying to keep calm, for Emily's sake if nothing else. "She was coughing a lot last night but...ok Ems, just try and slow your breathing down. Has anybody got a paper bag?" As if by magic, one was passed back from the front of the coach and though it smelled as though there had been some ripe cheese contained within it, Laura passed it to her sister and instructed her to blow into it. As she did so, she felt the bus slow and then come to a stop.

"I don't...want to go...to hospital..." Emily gasped.

"Just keep breathing," Laura said.

"I want...to go to...the park..."

"We're not going anywhere until I know you're ok. Do you need some of your pills?" Emily shook her head. "Are you sure?"

"Yes..."

"Ok." Glancing at her phone, Laura saw Dylan's name flash up on the screen. She moved her finger to press the 'accept' button...then there was an almighty bang, a scream and then silence.

XXXX

"It wasn't even my idea to go to the ski slope. I mean, who wants to do indoor skiing when the weather's as nice as it is today? Honestly, she gets the most ridiculous ideas in her head. We're not even going away until November."

Dylan Keogh looked up from the notes he had been studying and surveyed the woman in front of him who was cradling her left arm and wincing every now and then. "And you fell how, exactly?"

"I lost control of my skis when I was coming down the last slope and bang..." the woman shook her head, "First time I've ever been on the bloody things! I can't believe this. I'm supposed to be at work tonight!"

"Well, we'll need to get you x-rayed and then, depending on the results, fit you for a cast or sling which you'll have to wear for six to eight weeks."

"I can't wear a sling!" Her eyes grew wide with horror. "I work in a bar! How am I going to pour drinks one handed?"

"Well...I'm sure you could develop some sort of technique," Dylan replied helpfully as he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. "My experience is that most drinks in bars are served very sloppily by staff anyway." She stared at him. "I'll get a porter to take you to x-ray."

"And how long is all this going to take?"

"As long as it takes. This is a hospital. There are sick people here." Without waiting for any response, he turned and walked back towards the admin desk, rolling his eyes and accosting Max Walker as he did so. "Uh...can you arrange for the woman in cubicle three to go round to x-ray?"

The younger man paused and Dylan saw he had an apple in his hand. "Well, I'm a bit busy..."

"I thought the general consensus was that you didn't do anything much around here?"

"Well..."

"Good. You can do this then." Dylan took his phone out of his pocket and checked the screen which revealed a missed call from Laura and a text indicating she had left a voicemail. He hoped it was to tell him something about the trip that day, and not another attempt to discuss what had happened between them a few nights ago. Before he could do anything with it, however, he heard Zoe call his name and turning, saw her coming towards him waving a file.

"Did Laura and Emily get away to the park all right?"

"As far as I know. I think Emily was looking forward to it, I'm not so sure about Laura."

"She's got a lot to consider," Zoe said. "It's a lot of responsibility, caring for a dying teenager, and it can't be easy for her."

"No."

She cocked her head on one side, "Are the two of you...?"

"No," he replied shortly.

"Sorry I asked. Anyway, could you take a look at the bloke in cubicle one for me please?"

"Why?" he asked suspiciously.

"I'd like a second opinion. I think I know what the problem is but..."

He took the notes from her and skimmed over them, pausing halfway through. "Uh...I think this may be a misprint."

"No," she said, "it isn't."

"Butt plug? You're not serious."

"I am. Let me know what you think once you've spoken to him."

"Uh...Zoe...but..." before he could protest any further, she was gone, no doubt laughing all the way at the thought of him discussing anal play with anyone. "Unbelievable." Turning his attention back to his phone, he clicked into his messages.

 _"Dylan, it's me. Can you call me? Emily's not well and I don't think we should carry on to the park. Ring me back. Bye."_

Instinctively, he pressed the redial button, only for her phone to ring once and then go straight to answer. "For heaven's sake!" he exclaimed, after the beep. "What's the point in asking me to ring you back if you then don't answer when I do? Call me when you get this." Thrusting his phone back into his pocket, he turned towards cubicle one and steeled himself for the task ahead.


	2. Chapter 2

**27** **th** **April 2015**

 **Three months earlier**

"Well, it could have been worse."

Laura turned slowly to look at her sister, who had perched herself on the large window sil in the hospital corridor. Having just heard the worst news imaginable come out of the mouth of the grim-faced doctor, she could hardly believe that her sister could find the capacity for humour.

" _I'm sorry,"_ he had said, _"but there's nothing more we can do..."_

"I mean, he could have said six weeks, not six months. And why do they always pick that figure anyway? Nobody ever gets told they've got _four_ months to live or _seven and a half_ months to live. Why is it always _six_?" Emily raised her eyebrows and shook her head. "I think they just make it up because they're not sure."

Laura swallowed hard, fighting back the urge to shout at her sister or burst into tears. She knew that neither reaction would be appropriate under the circumstances. Though she had known Emily hadn't been well over the last few weeks, she had been hoping against all hope that it wouldn't mean what she feared it did. "It's not a joke, Ems."

"I know that. I was just saying."

"Well..." she fought for the right words, comforting words, like a big sister should be able to find in this kind of situation. But then, what sort of comforting words could you say to a seventeen year old who had just been told she would be lucky to see her eighteenth birthday? _It's going to be ok? Don't worry...we'll get through this..._ everything seemed pointless, not to mention patronising.

"Can we go to McDonalds?" Emily said, suddenly getting to her feet. "You said we could and I'm _dying_ for a McChicken Sandwich, literally."

"Emily..." Laura's eyes filled with tears, knowing she had meant that they could go in a celebration of good news, but her sister's face grew determined.

"No tears Laura, I mean it. I want to go to McDonalds. It's not going to matter if it's bad for me now, is it? Maybe I could just eat burgers all the time for the next six months and end up being really fat when I die. Come on, you know you can't say no to a Big Mac." Linking her arm through her sister's, Emily steered them towards the lifts and Laura found herself following mutely, as though she was the one who had just received the news and needed comforting. "I think we should have a DVD night tonight. Fifty Shades of Grey, what do you think? I've heard the sex is rubbish, nowhere near as dirty as the book, but we should at least see what all the fuss is about. You can tell me if it's anything approaching realism."

"Yeah," Laura said softly, suddenly realising that that experience, like so many others, would be lost now for her baby sister. "If you like." In reality, the last thing she wanted to do was sit through a stupid film about stupid people who liked bondage. But, if they didn't do that, what were they going to do? Spend the evening saying over and over, _it's not fair...?_

"That's that then," Emily said as they stepped inside. "And then tomorrow, we can plan how I'm going to spend the last six months of my life."

 _Oh God..._ Laura's brain screamed silently as her vision blurred with tears. _What are we going to do?_

XXXX

"When did you hear?"

"Dixie told me yesterday. Sam had heard about Jeff, albeit belatedly, called her to pass on her condolences and told her they had gotten married last week."

"Aw, well that's nice. I'm really pleased for them."

"Yeah, me too. Do you...do you think we should tell Dylan?"

"Uh...no, probably not."

Dylan paused, his hand on the handle of the door leading into the staff room. He assumed that Zoe and Tess hadn't realised how loud they were in fact talking, but the mention of his name and the fact they seemed keen to keep from him the news that his ex-wife had remarried, made him wary of stepping inside. It wasn't that he cared about what Sam and Tom did, in fact he too was happy for Sam if she was, but he knew that the looks of pity would be too much to bear. Instead, he decided to forego his coffee break and simply head back into the fray of whatever Holby ED wished to throw at him. Just at that moment, salvation arrived in the form of Dixie and Ian coming through the doors, pushing a stretcher containing a woman in a sparkly dress, blood gushing from a wound to her head.

"Right, this is Trixie Bell, forty seven, fell off the stage during a performance at the Star Club an hour or so ago, hitting her head on the floor with no loss of consciousness," Dixie said. "GCS is 15, sats are at 95%, BP's 110 over 70 and she's been given paracetemol for the pain."

"Hmmm," Dylan said as Rita joined them, "barely anything wrong with her then. Right, Miss Bell, I'm Dr Keogh and..." he stopped and stared at the patient in front of him. Despite all the makeup, there was definitely something odd about her. "Uh...I'm sorry, but this is a man."

"Well observed," Trixie said in a broad Mancunian accent. "I'm glad I've got you looking after me."

"Uh...do you have a real name?"

"Bob."

"Bob."

"But I prefer Trixie."

"I think it's a lovely name," Rita said as the patient beamed. "And that's a lovely dress."

"Hmmm, yes, well..." Dylan examined the wound on Trixie's head. "How did this happen?"

"I was about to go into my big finale number, when I caught my heel on the edge of the stage and over I went. A couple of very nice gentlemen had to pick me up. To say I'm embarrassed is putting it mildly...ow!" She jumped as he touched her skin.

"Sorry. So you didn't feel dizzy or unwell in any way before you fell?"

"No, I told you."

"Actually, you didn't. Right. Well we'd best get a head CT just to be on the safe side and then we'll need to put a stitch in."

"Will I have a scar?" Trixie asked, her face widening in horror at the prospect.

"I shouldn't think so."

"Thank God for that. This face is my fortune."

Dylan stared at her. "Money must be tight."

XXXX

"You need a boyfriend," Emily declared, her mouth full of fries. "I'm serious, Laura, a decent boyfriend. Not like that one you used to have when you worked in London."

"How do you remember him?" Laura asked, watching her over the rim of her cup. She had to admit to being slightly surprised by the quality of McDonald's coffee, particularly when one considered the quality of the burgers.

"I'm more perceptive than you give me credit for. He was a knob."

"I'll have to give you that one," Laura conceded. "Anyway, contrary to what you think, I don't need a boyfriend. I'm quite happy on my own just now, thank you very much. You take up enough of my time."

"I meant once I'm gone," Emily said. "I don't want you to be on your own."

 _This isn't right,_ Laura thought. _My seventeen year old sister shouldn't have to talk like this..._ "Well, we'll see. I'll...I'll need to phone the college and let them know what's happened,"

"Do you have to? I mean, they said they would hold my place."

"Yes, but only until we knew what was happening with you. Now we...well...now we know."

"I could still go back, even just for a little while."

"You can't, you know you can't."

"Why not?"

"Because..."

"Because why?" Emily persisted, her face twisting into a scowl. "Because I'm dying? I feel fine!"

"You might feel fine now but..."

"But what? Soon I won't? Soon I'll start feeling tired and sick and cold and I won't be able to get out of my bed?" Emily got to her feet. "Maybe you're right and maybe I will but right now I don't. Right now, I feel _fine_!"

"Emily...Emily, wait!" Laura got to her feet as Emily hurtled away from the table and slammed through the door into the toilets. An elderly woman at the next table shot her a sympathetic smile as if to say, _teenagers, eh?_ She sat back down in her seat and drained the last of the warm liquid from the cup. Time was all Emily needed, she told herself. Time to come to terms with things, time to realise that Laura was on her side.

XXXX

Having missed out on a coffee break that morning, Dylan decided to take advantage of an extended lunch break and head out into the sunshine for a quick trip to the local McDonalds. Though he didn't exactly rate the food particularly highly, he had to admit that the coffee was, in fact, quite good. It was also an opportunity to get away from Zoe' pitying gaze. Though she still had no idea that he had overheard her earlier discussion, it was clear that she was working up some kind of courage to tell him the news about Sam. He had made up his mind that if it came to it, he was simply going to tell her he already knew.

It was a strange feeling, being finally and fully divorced. Before, when Sam had merely been in Afghanistan and, indeed, when she had been at Holby, part of him had always clung onto the fact that, whatever their situation, they were still married. The reason he had walked away before was because he couldn't stand the raw emotion of knowing the ink had dried on the end of their marriage and he had been wary of how he might feel coming back to Holby under those circumstances. Perhaps it was because Sam herself had gone again or maybe it was because he was finally over her, but it was comforting that the raw emotion had now dulled.

 _"You need a girlfriend,"_ Zoe had said a few weeks ago.

 _"No, no I don't,"_ he had replied. _"I'm better off on my own...uh, with Dervla of course,"_

Thinking of Dervla, he pulled out his mobile and quickly dialled the Doggy Day Care number. As it rang out, he hoped that it wouldn't be Sharon that answered. She had been most aggrieved a few days ago when Dervla had chewed one of the table legs and stolen the other dogs' treats – again. He had tried to explain that it was separation anxiety, but for some reason Sharon hadn't wanted to listen. Thankfully, it was Gail, the nice one who answered and who told him that Dervla was behaving as good as gold. Satisfied that all was well with his family, he ploughed on towards the restaurant and was just about to pull open the door when it swung backwards into him and a teenage girl came careering into him.

"Sorry," she mumbled before pushing past him at speed, his attention most drawn by the blue and white spotted scarf she was wearing over her head.

"Emily!" The door opened for a second time, hitting him again, and this time he found himself face to face with a woman roughly his own age, who quite clearly had been crying. "I'm sorry," she said when she realised she had struck him. "I didn't mean..."

"Uh, no...it's all right," he said, staring at the mascara streaks underneath her eyes. "I...uh...is that...?" he gestured over his shoulder at the fleeing girl.

"Yes, she's with me," the woman sighed. "I'm so sorry, excuse me. Emily!" With that, she hurried past him towards the car park.

"Extraordinary," he mumbled to himself, finally able to open the door. "In McDonalds of all places."


	3. Chapter 3

Author Note: I couldn't resist another wee update to get our pair face to face. I apologise for how rubbish all the medical stuff is. If what I'm saying is complete nonsense, please forgive me!

 **1** **st** **May 2015**

"I'm calling an ambulance," Laura said, grabbing the phone from its cradle and punching in the numbers.

"No..." Emily croaked from where she was lying prostrate on the couch. "I don't want to go to hospital..."

"Ambulance please," Laura said, ignoring her. "It's Hollybrook Cottage, Maybank Street, Holby. It's my sister, she's in the end stages of leukaemia and she's really not well. No, she's got a fever and her chest is crackling and...yes...yes please. Thank you." She hung up. "They're on their way."

"I'm not going to hospital," Emily insisted. "And I'm not in the _end stages_ of anything..."

"Yes you are!" Laura ran a hand through her hair. "I should have taken you in two days ago when you started feeling unwell." The truth was, she had hoped it would pass, that it was just a cold that needed no more than some hot drinks and a day on the couch to cure. _She's dying!_ Her inner voice screamed mockingly at her. _Emily's dying! How could you be so naive?_ "Stay there!" Taking the stairs two at a time she hurried into Emily's room and began pulling clothes out of the wardrobe along with a pair of pyjamas, a dressing gown and her teddy bear. Then, she grabbed toiletries from the bathroom before hurtling back down to the living room.

"What's that?" Emily asked.

"It's your things," Laura replied, stuffing them into the rucksack that was sitting behind the couch. "You'll probably need to be admitted so it's best that we go prepared."

"No!" Emily exclaimed, before clutching her chest in pain. "I'm not...going into hospital..."

"Emily, you're not well! You need to be looked after by professionals, by people who know what they're doing!"

"I want to die here!" Laura stopped and looked down into her sister's face. "I don't want to die in hospital, I want to die here."

"You're not dying...yet," she said. "You've just...caught something that they need to sort out, that's all."

"Laura..."

"Just...just lie there and rest!" Laura insisted. "I'm going to go and see if I can see them coming." She opened the front door and stepped out into the garden, the sweet pungent aroma of the roses around the door greeting her as she did so. Summer was fast approaching in their little corner, though this year it brought her none of the joy it might have in the past. At first there was silence, only the birds whistling in the trees above. Then, she heard the sound of an engine and an ambulance turned into the lane. Relief flooded through her and she waved to attract their attention. "She's in here," she said as a male paramedic jumped out of the passenger's seat.

"Hello there, I'm Ian, this is Dixie," he said, as they came into the living room behind her. "I take it this is the patient?"

"My sister, Emily," Laura said, "she's got AML and she's been suffering from a bad chest for the last couple of days. She's in a lot of pain..."

"Ok sweetheart," Dixie said, feeling Emily's forehead, "You're not looking so good. Best we get you checked over in hospital."

"I don't want to go," Emily said, wincing. "I don't need to go to hospital."

"I know, I wouldn't want to go either," Dixie said, "but your sister's obviously been worried enough to call us out here so we might as well take you in, yeah? Is she on any medication?"

"Yeah, lots," Laura said, gesturing to the pill bottles that littered the sideboard.

"Right, best bring all that with us then so the doctors can take a look."

"She's being treated at Holby," Laura said, scooping up the bottles.

"Good," Ian said, "That's where we're going. Emily, do you think you could sit in a chair for us or would you prefer to lie down?"

"I can sit."

"Ok. Dix, I'll get the evac chair, ok?"

"Ok darling." Dixie turned to Laura, "Are _you_ all right?"

"Me?" She replied, hearing her voice shake on the words, "I'm fine, just fine."

XXXX

"Do you know, I've no idea who makes these clues up, but they're rubbish!" Dylan waved the morning's newspaper in frustration. "I mean, _someone_ has to at least be able to guess them otherwise, what's the point?"

"What is the clue?" Lofty asked from where he was checking the computer.

"Bad tempered, argumentative, uncooperative," Dylan read. "Twelve letters. Something, something N, something A, something, something, something, something O, U, something."

Lofty paused, "Cantankerous."

"Can..." Dylan scanned the boxes and found, to his annoyance, that the other man was right. "Yes, well..." he said, "I would have got there eventually"

"Of course," Lofty replied.

"Can we get some help here?"

Dylan tossed the paper onto the desk, grateful for the distraction, and went to greet Ian who was pushing a chair with a young girl on it, her face covered by an oxygen mask, a pink scarf over her head.

"Ok, this is Emily Wilson, seventeen years old," he said. "She's got a diagnosis of acute myeloid leukaemia and has been suffering from what looks like a chest infection for the last few days. GSC is 15, sats are at 90% on oxygen, BP's 80 over 65 and she's been given some IV paracetemol. She wasn't too keen to come with us but we used our charm to persuade her."

"Right thanks," Dylan said as Robyn came over to join him. "Hello Emily, I'm Dr Keogh. I'm going to be treating you today. Can you tell me how long you've been feeling like this?"

"Since Tuesday," a voice from behind him answered and he turned to see a woman hovering nearby clutching a clear bag filled with pill bottles. She had a familiar look about her, but he couldn't quite place her. "She was complaining of feeling feverish, then the cough started and then it moved into her chest."

"This is Emily's sister and carer, Laura," Ian said.

"Ok, let's get her onto the bed," Dylan said, "Can you manage, Emily?" Emily nodded and heaved herself up onto the bed, collapsing back into it with the effort. He lifted his stethoscope and pressed it against her chest. "Big deep breaths for me if you can. That's it..."

"Temperature's 38.7," Robyn said, pulling the thermometer out of her ear.

"It's a little high and her lungs sound wet...uh can we get a portable chest done and let's draw some bloods. Does your chest hurt when you breathe, Emily?" She nodded. "Right, it's possible you've contracted pneumonia but we'll know more once we've seen the chest film."

"Pneumonia?"

Dylan turned to Emily's sister. "It's...uh...sorry what was your name again?"

"Laura."

"Laura. Your sister has AML and it's not uncommon for sufferers to contract pneumonia, especially when the immune system is so weakened..."

"But she hasn't been anywhere where she could get cold or wet..."

"It's not always connected to that," he told her. "In her condition the body can't fight off infection. Is she currently receiving treatment?"

Laura nodded, "She...we...we got a terminal diagnosis a few days ago."

"I see..." Dylan turned back to where Emily was breathing heavily under the mask. "Well, like I said we'll be able to confirm it once we have the results of the chest x-ray."

"Will she have to be admitted?"

"It's a possibility. Is that a problem?"

"Yes..." Emily wheezed.

"No," Laura replied. "No problem."

XXXX

"Robyn, did you see where my patient in cubicle three's sister went? Blonde hair...mildly pretty?" It was nearly two hours since Emily had come into the ED and the chest x-ray had confirmed Dylan's suspicious about the pneumonia.

"Mildly pretty?" Robyn echoed.

He shrugged, "Well she is, I suppose."

"She went outside for some air. She was pretty upset."

"Thank you." Dylan made his way outside the ED and almost immediately caught sight of Laura sitting on the bench a few feet away, her head in her hands. He paused, wondering if he should leave her, but then decided that she needed to know what was happening. "There you are," he said as he approached her.

Laura jumped to her feet and turned to him wide-eyed, "Has something happened?"

"What? No, no nothing like that," he replied, taking in the redness of her eyes and suddenly realising where he knew her from. "Uh...the chest x-ray has confirmed that Emily has pneumonia so I'm going to admit her for a couple of days just to monitor her condition. The leukaemia obviously complicates her treatment but a course of antibiotics should clear her chest and, once that happens, she should be able to return home."

"She won't be happy," Laura said, wiping a stray tear from her cheek. "She hates being in hospital. She didn't want me to ring the ambulance in the first place. I should have done it yesterday. I should have brought her in instead of waiting..." she looked at him beseechingly. "Would it have made any difference if I had?"

"No," he said. "Not to her overall condition. A bout of pneumonia is likely to significantly weaken her overall though. Is there anyone...anyone else at home that could perhaps...?"

"No. It's just the two of us. It has been ever since our parents died."

"I'm sorry."

"You don't need to be. I'm not looking for sympathy. Everyone always thinks Emily's my daughter given the age gap but...she was their little surprise. I was sixteen when she was born and I think they had all but given up hope of ever having another baby. They doted on her. I'm almost glad they're not here to see this." She swallowed hard. "Anyway, I was living in London when they died so I came back here to take care of her. Two years later she was diagnosed and..."

"You said that she had been given a terminal diagnosis a few days ago?" He interrupted her.

"Yes, six months the doctor said." Laura shook her head, her eyes filling with tears again. "I don't think she's processed it properly. One minute she's talking about how she could go back to college and the next she's busy planning her own funeral..." She sank back down on the bench again as sobs overtook her.

Dylan shifted uncomfortably. Crying women always made him nervous and this one was no exception. Casting around, he hoped to see one of the nurses that he could intercept to help, but there was no-one. Eventually, he sat down on the bench beside her and awkwardly patted her arm in some attempt at comfort.

"She says she wants _Reach_ by S Club 7 played when they carry her out," Laura hiccupped. "I mean...she's just a child...why should she have to think about things like that?"

"It's a...a good song..."

She turned and looked at him, "Somehow...somehow I'm not sure that I'm going to be able to sit there for the next six months and just...just watch her die...I would do anything, anything if I could...take it all away or...or just take her place..."

"We...uh...we ran into each other at McDonalds the other day," he said in an attempt to slightly change the subject.

Laura paused, "Did we?"

"Yes, I was outside coming in and you and Emily were..." he gestured as if to demonstrate there had been discourse between them.

"Oh..." she nodded slowly, "yes, I remember. I'm sorry about that. We'd just been given the news and...we were both a bit upset."

"Well, that's understandable," Dylan got to his feet as his pager started to beep. "Hopefully it won't be too long until we can get Emily transferred upstairs and, of course, you're welcome to wait with her until then."

"Thank you."

"You know..." he turned back to face her. "There are support groups who might be able to help. I think we have some leaflets lying around somewhere...I can look them out for you." She nodded. "Right then. Well, I'd better get on." Turning away, he headed back into the ED, reminding himself that leaflets were as far as he went.

XXXX

"It's for the best Ems," Laura reassured her sister as she sat by the bed, holding her hand. "Dr Keogh said that he thought you would be fine in a few days."

"I hate hospitals," Emily replied, and Laura could see tears forming in her eyes. "I want to go home with you."

"I know you do and I want to take you home, but...you need treatment here that I can't give you at home." She looked around and shrugged, "At least it should be more peaceful up on the ward."

"There was a guy over there screaming before."

"I know, I heard him. I was about to nick him for a breach of the peace."

Emily smiled wanly and then squeezed Laura's hand tightly, "PC Wilson, always on duty. Promise me something."

Laura leaned over her, "Anything."

"When it's time...you won't make me come into hospital. When it's time, promise me I can be at home. Promise me."

Laura stroked her sister's forehead and nodded, "I promise."

XXXX

His shift, thankfully, almost at an end, Dylan finished writing up a prescription for his last patient, checked some blood results and put the last file in the basket.

"You finishing up?" Zoe asked, coming up beside him.

"Yes."

"And what are your plans for this evening, dinner for two with Dervla?"

"Yes actually, and can you not sound so mocking when you talk about her?" Dylan replied, irritated by her attitude.

"You know I love Dervla as much as the next dog," Zoe said, "all I'm saying is..."

"All you're saying is that you think I'm a sad case for wanting to spend time with my dog rather than down the pub with you lot. You think I need some sort of cheering up because my ex-wife's remarried."

Zoe paused, "I didn't realise that you knew."

"In future, perhaps you and Tess should consider your volume control before gossiping in the staffroom," he said, "otherwise, I might not have known."

"Ahhh...I'm sorry."

"Hmmm."

"Are you...ok?"

"I'm fine, actually," he said, "totally fine."

"Dr Keogh?" Dylan turned to see Laura standing behind him. "I'm sorry to interrupt but I just wanted to say thank you...for everything you've done for Emily."

"Oh...uh..." he waved his hand dismissively, "I was just doing my job."

"And for listening to me earlier," she continued, somewhat embarrassed, "that definitely _isn't_ part of your job and, well, I'm sorry."

"Don't...don't worry about it."

"They're taking her up to the ward now and they've said I can go up with her to make sure she settles so..." she gestured behind her. "I guess I should..."

"Yes, yes, you should go. Oh, wait a minute..." reaching over the desk, he picked up a sheaf of leaflets and handed them to her. "The support groups I was talking about earlier."

"Thank you," Laura said, "I appreciate it."

"You're welcome." He watched as she hurried over to where her sister's trolley was waiting by the lifts and bent to kiss her on the top of the head.

"You actually listened to someone?" Zoe said incredulously. "Someone who wasn't a patient? You actually offered yourself as a listener?"

Dylan unwound his stethoscope from his neck and opened the top button of his shirt. "I like to surprise you."


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks to everyone who is reviewing so far!**

 **6** **th** **May 2105**

"I hate it in here," Emily complained loudly. "Everyone treats me like I'm some sort of invalid." She glared at her sister. "When can I come home, Laura?"

Laura sighed and rubbed her hands over her face, "Whenever the doctor says you're ready to be discharged," she replied.

"Well how much longer is it going to be? I've been here for days and I feel much better! I can't stand another day of lying here staring at the walls and trying to avoid making eye contact with any other patients."

Laura glanced around the room at the people in the other beds. They were all teenagers, all cancer sufferers and all engrossed in their own media, studiously ignoring her sister. "Keep your voice down," she said. "This is a hospital, Emily."

"Really? I never would have guessed."

"That's enough!" Laura snapped. She was exhausted, having come straight to the hospital from a nightshift where she had had to deal with a number of people she would have preferred to slap in the face rather than arrest and the last thing she was up for was a fight with a stroppy teenager. "I know it's difficult for you, but what do you expect me to do? I've already told you that as soon as they say you're fit to go home, I'll take you. I can't do any more than that. I'm run ragged as it is!" To her embarrassment, tears pricked her eyes.

"I'm sorry," Emily said, after a long moment. "I know I'm being a bitch."

"Well, at least you can recognise it."

"It's just..." she plucked at the sheets on the bed. "Being in here makes it all so real. When I'm home, I don't always have to think about what's wrong with me. At least, not all of the time. But in here, I can't really escape it."

"I know," Laura squeezed her hand. "I know it's shit for you, Ems, believe me. Look...I'll go and see if I can speak to the doctor and see if they can give me any idea how much longer you're going to be here, ok?" She got to her feet and felt the room sway slightly before her.

"Ok," Emily replied. "Thanks."

"Ok."

"I love you, Laura."

"I know," Laura replied, "I love you too." She left her sister's bedside and made her way out of the ward and towards the nurse's station to see if she could find anyone who could give her any information. Every step seemed like such an effort and she knew that she was overtired. Sense would have dictated going home for some sleep before coming to the hospital, but knowing how upset Emily had been of late, she hadn't wanted to wait.

Up ahead, she could see a nurse that she recognised and made her way towards her. Suddenly, the corridor seemed to start closing in on her...sounds began to grow faint and a buzzing noise started in her head. Before she could speak to anyone, she felt herself pitch forward and everything went black.

XXXX

"Can you take a look at the woman in cubicle one?" Robyn asked Dylan when she came across him in the staffroom.

"I'm on my break," he muttered, annoyed by the interruption. It had been a manic morning and it was the first opportunity he felt he'd had to take a breath.

"I know, but everyone else is busy and, well, she asked for you."

"Asked for me?" he looked up. "I didn't realise I had a groupie following." Tossing the newspaper he'd been reading to one side, he reluctantly got up and followed her out into the ED. "Do I know her?"

"She's the sister of that teenager that came in a few days ago. The one who has leukaemia and contracted pneumonia?"

"Rings a vague bell..." he replied, glancing at the notes. "Laura Wilson...what's she here for anyway?"

"She was upstairs visiting her sister and she fainted."

"Fainted?" Dylan stopped and looked at her. "So instead of giving her a cup of tea and looking after her up there for ten minutes, they send her down to the ED to compete with car crashes, overdoses, attempted murders...marvellous." He started walking again, Robyn following. "I wonder when they'll remember up there that we are an emergency department, not a dumping ground. I'm Dr Keogh," he said, pulling back the cubicle curtain. "I understand you...oh." He paused, suddenly recognising her face.

"Hello again," Laura said, somewhat sheepishly. "Sorry about this. I shouldn't have asked for you specifically..."

"No, it's...it's all right," Dylan replied, taking in her uniform. "You're a police officer?"

"For my sins."

"Right...uh, what happened?"

"I was upstairs visiting Emily and I think I fainted," she replied, a blush colouring her pale cheeks. "I've never been more embarrassed in my life. Thank God Emily didn't see it."

He conducted a quick examination, checking her pulse, shining a light in her eyes and listening to her heart. "Have you been feeling unwell generally?"

"No."

"Eating properly?"

"I think so."

"When was the last time you ate or drank anything?"

"The early hours of this morning," she replied. "I was on nightshift."

"And you came straight to see your sister?"

Laura nodded. "I probably should have gone home first but...well she's not exactly being a model patient. I know she's been giving the nurses upstairs a hard time so..."

"Hmmm..." he paused and looked at her. "Any chance you could be pregnant?"

"No!" she exclaimed, her eyes widening in horror. "No, absolutely not. Look, I know this a complete waste of your time. I'm feeling a lot better now and I know you've got real emergencies to deal with..." she swung her legs over the bed, but immediately felt another wave of dizziness come over her and sank quickly back down.

"Ok," Dylan said, "Robyn let's run some bloods and dip a urine just to make sure there's nothing going on that's not immediately obvious...and perhaps a strong cup of tea with sugar will help to alleviate the dizziness. You'll need to stay here for a couple of hours until we've finished running all the tests," he said to her. "Do you want us to phone up to Emily's ward and make sure she's all right?"

"No, like I said, I don't think she saw me faint and I don't want to worry her," Laura replied. "She's much better now than she was and she's frustrated that she can't go home."

"Right, who's the doctor dealing with her?"

"Dr Lewis?"

"I'll make a call."

"No, you really don't have to..."

"I know," Dylan replied, walking away.

Laura watched him disappear and sighed heavily. "I feel like I'm making a nuisance of myself. I'm sure you've all got far more important patients to deal with than a fainting policewoman." she said to Robyn.

"Don't be silly," Robyn replied. "I'll get you some tea and chocolate and see if that makes you feel a bit better and then I'll draw some blood, ok?"

"Ok," Laura replied, lying back in the bed, feeling tiredness overtake her, and yet almost grateful for the alleviation of responsibility. "Whatever you think is best."

XXXX

"Well," Dylan said, a few hours later as he approached the bed, "you'll be relieved to hear that you are indeed not pregnant and that all your other tests came back normal."

"Good," Laura replied. "I'm feeling much better now."

Looking at her, he could see that the colour had definitely returned to her cheeks and with Robyn having told him that she had fallen asleep for at least an hour he felt that it was now appropriate to discharge her. "You look much better," he said. "But you need to start taking better care of yourself."

"I do take care of myself."

"Well, obviously you don't otherwise what happened today wouldn't have happened," he said, as if it was the most obvious conclusion in the world. "Burning the candle at both ends, as they say..."

"I haven't really got much of a choice," Laura said, her tone clipped. "My work have been very understanding about giving me time to care for Emily, but I still need to make money so that we can live. Her being in hospital allowed me to pick up a few shifts and..."

"Well it's not going to do you or your sister any good if you end up in here yourself, is it?" He interrupted. "There must be _someone_ that you can go to for help. A relative or friend..."

"There isn't." Laura got up from the bed and started pulling her boots back on. "I told you, there's only me and Emily."

"You could organise for carers to come in to help care for her. The state would cover the cost and..."

"Emily would hate that. She doesn't like strangers coming in and out any more than she likes being in hospital. She's my sister, it's my responsibility."

"Well if you want to be pigheaded about it..."

"Pigheaded?" she rounded on him. "You have got no idea what my life is like, _doctor_. I'm doing everything I can to look after my sister because it's what my parents would have wanted! I'm trying to keep everything going for both of us and it's not easy! I don't need people like you looking down on me and making out that I'm not doing what's best for her!"

"That's not what I meant," Dylan said, trying to back-peddle. "All I'm saying is, you need to take care of yourself too, or you'll be no use to her at all."

"I know that. Look, you said I was ok, so can I go?"

"Yes. I spoke to Dr Lewis," he added as she swept past him.

"You did?" she turned back. "I didn't ask you to do that."

"I know. I did it anyway. He said that Emily can go home tomorrow."

Laura sighed and nodded, "Thank you. I appreciate that."

"Well at least you appreciate something." She shot him a withering look and then stalked away through the double doors towards reception. "You're welcome," he said to no-one in particular.

"Problem?" Robyn asked, coming up behind him.

"Yes, Nurse Miller, there is a problem." he said, rounding on her. "Next time a patient asks for me by name, tell them I'm dead."

 **10** **th** **May 2015**

It had been a long time since Dylan remembered dreaming but the last three nights in a row he had had the same dream, or rather the same nightmare. It always started off in the hospital, in the ED, but there was nobody there that he recognised. No Connie, Rita, Robyn, no-one. In fact, none of the others around him appeared to have recognisable features, let alone faces. He could see the colour of their scrubs, could understand who they were supposed to be and yet...they had no faces. The first night, he had awakened, covered in sweat, right at the point where one of the faceless beings had begun running at him. He knew had obviously been making some sort of noise, or thrashing about, as Dervla had been whining at the side of the bed and staring at him with wide eyes...if dogs could have wide eyes.

The second night, the dream had had him lying in a bed in the ED, strapped down, with the faceless beings above him, looking down at him, muttering unintelligible words above his head. He had tried to move, speak, communicate with them in any way, and yet found that he was completely frozen. That time, he had sat bolt upright in bed, the sound of his own yell dissipating in the darkness around him, Dervla clawing at the bedroom door in an apparent attempt to escape.

This night, he found himself standing at reception, looking around at all the people waiting to be seen, and noticing that nobody had a face. Nobody at all. Doctors, nurses, patients, porters...they all glided past him, turned towards him and yet...nothing. Through some form of willpower, he managed to get himself to the nearest toilet and yet, to his horror found that when he looked in the mirror, he too was faceless. He had to get out, had to leave the ED, had to find someone to help him, so he tried to get out of the toilet, only to find the door wouldn't move. He started banging on it, trying to call out for help and yet, he couldn't make a sound...just kept pulling and banging on the door, hoping that someone would realise...

"Bloody hell!

He awoke with a start, the sound of his own banging still rolling around in his head and found that he was hanging half out of bed, Dervla whining softly in the corner of the room.

"It's all right Stinky," he said breathlessly, "I'm all right." Pulling himself back upright, he ran a hand over his face and realised that he was soaked in sweat yet again. "Just a dream," he said, more to reassure himself rather than anyone else, only to suddenly realise that he could hear banging coming from the front of the boat, and what sounded like a female voice shouting. Climbing out of bed, he opened the bedroom door and stepped into the living area.

"Open up please!" a voice shouted clearly from behind the front door.

"What on earth...?" squinting at the clock on the wall, he saw to his amazement that it was only three-thirty.

"Hello? Is there anyone in there? Hello?" The caller banged on the door again. "Open up, please. It's the police!"

"Police..." Dylan muttered to himself, striding over and pulling back the bolt. "Look, I don't know what the meaning of banging on my door at this time of night is," he said in a loud voice, pulling open the door, "but I'll have you know that..."

"I'm sorry sir, but...Dr Keogh?"

He stopped and squinted at the light coming from the torch his late night caller was holding aloft. "Oh," he said, both surprised and somewhat relieved, "it's you."

"Sorry to disturb you," Laura said, her expression grim, "but I'm afraid I need you evacuate this boat immediately."


	5. Chapter 5

"It's a what?" Dylan asked, as he lifted Dervla into his arms and followed Laura across the bow of the boat and onto dry land. He had heard her the first time, but somehow he needed to hear it again to allow his brain to properly process the information, to convince himself that he wasn't still in the middle of some dream.

"An unexploded bomb," she repeated, crossing the path and heading for the grassy knoll a few feet away where some of her colleagues were standing with other unfortunate residents who had also been rudely awakened from their slumber. "The sniffer dogs are taking a look and the bomb squad are on their way so..."

"So the local constabulary think this is some sort of terrorist hotspot, do they?" he scoffed. "Isis on the ground?"

"No," she said, glancing over her shoulder at him, "they think it's an old World War Two bomb. Some teenagers found it and almost wet themselves thinking it was about to go off."

"Of course, yes, I can see how that might be the case given that history has clearly shown that Holby was right up there on the front line..."

"Look Dr Keogh," Laura sighed and turned to face him, irritated by his petulance. "I'm sorry that I had to wake you and your dog up, but I'm just doing my job. We were told to evacuate anyone who was down here and we have. If you'd rather go back to bed and take your chances, be my guest, but I'll need you to sign some sort of waiver first so that when you're blown to smithereens your family don't try to sue the force."

"Uh, no it's...it's all right," he said, somewhat taken aback by the steeliness of her tone. "Better safe than sorry, for Dervla's sake if not for my own."

Laura looked down at the dog still nestled in his arms. "Dervla?"

"Yes. Dervla, Officer Wilson, Officer Wilson, Dervla." He watched as she reached out and scratched his dog behind the ears before allowing her to lick her hand. Dervla let out a muted growl of satisfaction and wriggled in his embrace. "Well...she seems to like you and she's the only family whose opinion matters." Laura met his gaze. "Yes...well..."

"Don't tell Emily or she'll be on at me again to get her a puppy." They both turned to look back down the hill to where a collection of boats bobbed silently in the darkness, a number of shadowy figures moving around them, visible only by the light of their fluorescent jackets. "She keeps trying to convince me of all the benefits of having one. Loyalty, affection, something to cuddle...she always conveniently forgets about the walking and shit-shovelling."

"You don't like dogs?"

"No, I love dogs. We had an old Jack Russell before Emily was born, but I just don't have the time or the inclination to look after one right now." Laura pulled her mobile out of her pocket and glanced at the screen before pushing it back in again. "Hopefully this won't take too long, you can both get back to bed and I can get back to all the paperwork I still have to do."

"Hmmm, I'm only due on in...four hours," he muttered. Looking over at her, he took in the stab vest, handcuffs and baton that protruded from various parts of her uniform and was suddenly acutely aware of his own shorts and t-shirt masquerading as nightwear. "I'm assuming you're on nightshift."

"Well spotted."

"So who's watching your sister then?"

"She's at a sleepover at her friend's house," Laura replied, bristling slightly at his tone. "No doubt they're still awake, eating junk food and talking about men."

"Men? She's seventeen, shouldn't she still be in the 'boys' category?"

"I suppose." Her radio crackled and she unclipped it from her shoulder to reply. "All clear this end Sarge. I didn't realise so many people lived on these boats."

Dylan glanced at the other residents standing nearby, all looking equally discomfited at having been frogmarched from their homes. "Neither did I. I couldn't tell you who half these people are. Any of them, even."

"Well I suppose you work long shifts, like me. You're probably coming and going at all hours. Doesn't exactly lend itself to getting to know your neighbours."

"No, I suppose not," he replied, suddenly very aware of his own isolation. He couldn't remember the last time he had had a meaningful conversation with anyone outside of work. Unless you counted Dervla and, even then, it wasn't exactly a conversation. "Any more...uh...any more fainting spells?" he asked, in an effort to change the subject back onto a topic he was more comfortable with.

"No, thankfully," Laura replied. "I tried to take your advice. This is the first nightshift I've done in nearly a week." She kicked the grass with the toe of her boot, avoiding his gaze. "I'm sorry if I was rude at the hospital. Emily got home the next day, no doubt due in no small measure to you contacting her doctor and speeding things along. I should have been more grateful for your help."

"It was no trouble," he said. "I...uh...I could have perhaps phrased things a little better when we spoke last." She glanced sideways at him. "Just a little...perhaps."

"Is that your attempt at an apology, Dr Keogh?"

"I didn't realise I required to apologise," he mumbled.

"Ok..." Laura smoothed back a smile. "Well, let's let bygones be bygones and forget about it, deal?"

"Oh...uh...deal."

"Good." She glanced down at Dervla who was now lying next to Dylan's feet. "So, who watches your dog while you're working?"

"She goes to Doggy Day Care," Dylan replied. "Though I don't think she's their favourite attendee, are you Stinky?" She looked up at the sound of his voice and whined in response. "She has quite a liking for other dog's treats, I'm afraid and they don't like that."

"Doesn't she get any at home?"

"Too many. I'm afraid I'm rather guilty of spoiling her. I think that's part of the problem, really."

"There's nothing wrong with that."

"She's on probation now, or so they told me last week. One more misdemeanour and she'll be out on her ear."

"They're strict then?"

"They're like Nazis." Laura laughed. "You think I'm joking, but I'm not. I wonder sometimes if I shouldn't install some sort of doggy cam in her collar to make sure they're caring for her properly."

"You're not serious?"

"I'm completely serious. Don't you have some sort of department that deals with cruelty to animals?"

"Not specifically..." she chose her words carefully lest she start laughing again. "Not unless you go to the RSPCA. But if anything ever _did_ happen to her, and you were suspicious, I'm sure I could find someone to investigate."

"That's good to know, I suppose."

"Well," Laura said, "Emily loves dogs and, like I said, there's no way that we're getting one...but I know that she'd be happy to watch Dervla for you...take her for a walk now and then...if you were ever stuck. If she did get expelled from Doggy Day Care, that is, or you decide their fascist ways are too much."

"Bomb squad now in attendance, over," her radio crackled again.

"Received, over."

"I wouldn't have thought walking my dog would have exactly made your sister's bucket list," Dylan said, somewhat surprised by the offer. "Shouldn't she be requesting to go to Lapland or something like other dying children?"

If his words had offended her, Laura didn't show it. "Emily's very practical. For some reason, caring for a dog would bring her more pleasure than meeting Santa ever would and it would certainly give her something to focus her mind on other than, well, death."

"Hmmm."

"Look, I wasn't suggesting we make an actual arrangement. It was just...you know...in case." She shifted from foot to foot, suddenly wishing she had never brought the subject up. What had she been thinking? She barely knew the man and here she was pimping her sister out as some sort of dog walker!

"Well, I'll...I'll keep it in mind," Dylan replied.

"Right," she nodded. "Good. Excuse me a minute." She walked further along the grass towards one of her colleagues, leaving him standing alone. He watched as she conversed with her, another female, her blonde ponytail bobbing up and down with the animation of their conversation. A few moments later, she turned and walked back over to him. "That's the all clear been given."

"All clear?"

"Yes, you can go back to bed now. You and Dervla." Laura crouched down and rubbed the dogs head. "With our apologies for disturbing your beauty sleep."

"Oh...well..." he said. "Like I said, better safe than sorry. I...uh...I mean...what you said about your sister and...and dogs..."

"Laura!"

She turned away at the sound of her name being called and gestured to the same female she had just been speaking to. "I have to go, I'm afraid," she said. "Looks like we might have a real shout to go to."

"Oh, well...I wouldn't want to keep you."

Laura smiled. "Good night, Dr Keogh."

"Uh, it's Dylan," he said before he could stop himself.

She frowned, "Sorry?"

"Dylan...my name's...uh...Dylan."

"Dylan," she repeated with a nod and a smile. "Nice to meet you Dylan, I'm Laura."

"Yes," he said, picking Dervla up again and turning back towards the boat. "I know."

Laura watched his retreating figure until he had disappeared back onto the boat. Was he perhaps one of the most annoying people she had ever met? Well, he was certainly up there. But there was also something...something else that she couldn't quite put her finger on.

"Do you know him?" Danielle asked, coming to stand beside her and following her gaze.

"No," she replied, though oddly found herself wishing she did. "Not really."


End file.
